10 Steps to Getting What YOU Want
in Life: Creating YOUR Reality
Improve Your Life
Making life better in some way seems to be ingrained in our nature. One asks how can I be happier, healthier, wiser, or freer. You can use goals for a better job, better living conditions, improved health, and much more.Goal setting is an excellent tool for creating a successful better life.
Get What You Want in Life
Learn how to create and achieve satisfying fulfilling goals that truly create a life that you want. Let this guide be your personal coach aiding you with time management, planning and organization.These 10 how-to steps guide you through the full goal setting and achievement process. As all goals do not need all steps, you may wish to skip some steps. Still, we recommend you minimally read through them to understand why we included them for when you are actualizing other goals.
Step 1: Introduction to
Setting and Creating GoalsGoal setting encourages one to look at themselves more clearly to see where they are and what they want. This is truly helpful as it can help one see the many blessings in their life as well as what improvements would be appreciated.The first step to change is acknowledging that there is something to change.Then goal setting provides a toolset for you change and create the life YOU want.I have found that putting 2 conditions on goals has really helped me:
The goal can not harm others. I feel that what comes around - goes around. As such, this feels like a good thing to avoid.
2.The goal helps others or the universe. Rather than saying: "I want to be rich", having a goal like: "Having time to be with family and serve in the community" or "Helping me give to friends and charity" or "Allow me to make the world more beautiful" are much better goals than simply making a goal of being rich.I know many will disagree with me on these two points. However, usually, when one wants something (ie. riches), they really want it to achieve a specific goal (ie: learning to be a pilot or have more time with family). Making the goal to do something specific and verifiable is often a much better goal and is more likely to get you what you truly want.
In other words, money is a tool. What do you want the money to be used for? Then, base your goal on the desire.It is best to make goals for yourself. In addition, helping your minor children with setting goals is great.Setting goals for another adult is highly NOT recommended. Goals set for another usually will not work and often backfire. One must make goals for himself/herself for them to work successfully.I goal set when I feel I need something changed in my life. This can be that I am unhappy in my job or I want to grow more quickly spiritually.Some people find it useful to make goals before big events, such as marriage. Making goals for the marriage often makes the relationship stronger and more unified.Others make goals daily, weekly, monthly and/or yearly. New year resolutions are simply goals for the new year.One can have any sort of goal. Common areas for goals include: health, financial, business, spiritual, relationship/family, and more.Goals that pursue your passion really work. That is because, often there is high (positive) emotion, desire, and strong images. Being able to picture a goal really does help it manifest.
Our experience has shown that having written goals, with dates, really helps the manifestation process. Adding a picture, desire and work really makes it happen. Use your imagination!
Step 2: Deciding On
Which Goals To Set:
This section helps you choose the best goal for you.
Points to Consider When I create goals, I keep the following points in mind:
Give the Universe Space To Work: I like to set goals which creates a new situation rather than focusing on a problem. This is so I can focus on something positive as well as giving room for spirit to work.
That is, instead of saying I want to have a new boss, I may ask for a job that I enjoy with a team of coworkers and boss that have the same values as I do.
This means spirit may move your job, or may help you and your boss get along. It doesn't matter. Also, this way spirit can give me something even better than I imagined.
Verifiable: By having your goal have something that can be verified you allow yourself to see goals being successfully created. This in turn makes more goals achievable. The universe always provides.
Positive: Creating positive goals is recommended as the mind often doesn't hear the word "not". Focusing on a positive image brings that image to you.
Goal Topics: Often, one creates goals to based on their list of values.
This can be one's health, family, spiritual practice, relationships, work, or livelihood. Sometimes it is obvious that something is not working in your life. If this is the case, focusing on what you what like that part of your life to be like, is an excellent place to start.Imagining a supportive network of family and friends or a extremely satisfying job that leaves you energized are great examples of such goals.Other times, one just has a restlessness or uneasiness about their life. Often this is due to having life not being fulfilling. So perhaps, having a goal that takes you the next step or discovering other options is the way to go.Looking through our Affirmation of the Day may give you some ideas.
Exercise: Here is an exercise that may help you decide on a goal:
- Research How Others Overcame This Obstacle:
This is often a straight forward approach for many people. If you come across an obstacle, see how others overcame it. The odds are, someone has already been in your type of situation and found a way out. Now all you need to do is find out how they overcame the situation and repeat it. See ideas on how to research in Step 4.
- List The Blessings In Your Life - Using Gratitude To Overcome Obstacles
Gratitude opens the heart and allows a healing to come in. Often simply listing your blessings from the smallest one to the largest one really helps. Include things such as being alive, breathing, being able to use your senses, etc.
- Try Something Different
If what you have been doing isn't working, try a new approach. Often looking at a problem differently - or approaching it different will solve the issue.
- Fear Room Technique
- Imagine a dark, foggy room. You can't see in this room. It is dark, and very difficult to see in. Now imagine a truck with some hoses to suck out the fog and flood lights to brighten up the room. This takes a while, but after a few moments, you can see the room clearly and easily. What do you see? Write down as many details as you can. What happens to your fears when the veils of illusion are removed and the light is shining on them?
There are many techniques on our Affirmations page. Sometimes simply repeating your goal over and over will bring you inside. I have have huge amounts of success using the 15x's a day technique where you write down a goal 15 times each day. Often this type of focusing will show me what I need in order to overcome the obstacle.
- Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway
Simply feel the fear, fill yourself with as much love as you can muster, and do what you need to do anyways. Often this will get you through the process of doing something you are scared of that is recommended by your mentors.
- Contemplation Technique Do the exercise from Step 2 where you fill your self up with love and allow insights from spirit fill your consciousness with a solution to your problem.
- Constant Reminder Technique
Find ways to remind yourself of your goals. Find an affirmation, saying, or song that matches your goal. Repeat them daily -- the more often the better.
If you can't find a positive saying that supports your goal, make one up. Keep it simple and easy to repeat. Have it be positive. Play with it. Maybe sing it to a favorite tune. Then sing (or say) it again and again.
- Simplify Everything Examine your life in regard to your goals. Does everything in your life support your goals? Do you have beliefs, attitudes, habits or patterns that go against your goal?
Get rid of the things in your life that do NOT support your goals. This will make your goals stronger and in line with everything you do.
- Do something on your goal EVERY day Spend at least 1 hour on your goal EVERY day Try something new if current methods aren't working Repeat methods that DO work Listen to successful people's advice Keep your mind open Picture your goal constantly Expect the best Fill yourself with love Commit yourself to your goal
- Daily rewrite your "Things-to-do-today" list after reviewing your goals
- Verify that you really are doing your best. Could you spend more time on your goal? Could you work more effectively on your goal? Are you not seeing something? Did others make suggestions that you are discounting without investigation? Have you re-read Step 5 and Step 6
- Are you trying reasonable approaches? For example, one may win the lottery, but putting real effort into your project gives you much more chances of success
AcknowledgementStep 8: Acknowledging GoalsThat You Have Created
CelebrateAcknowledging successes help goals move farther and faster. Every step you complete on your way to the full goal is a success. That success brings you that much closer and hence is extremely important. Acknowledge it as an accomplishment. This helps you realize that you can create goals and fulfill them. It also lets you see your goals in relation to other aspects of your life.Let yourself feel your success. Know that you created this reality. Allow yourself to give yourself positive reinforcement.
RemindCelebrate - even if it is just a whoop of joy, telling your goal to a friend, or a walk around the block smelling the flowers.Write your achievement in a journal. Watch your progress as time goes on knowing every goal is a step on the path of life. From time to time, review your journal.
Remind yourself that you ARE successful as proven by you achieving goals.If your goal didn't work quite the way you planned, acknowledge your successes, be grateful, and try again
Step 9: Gratitude,
Acceptance and Moving OnOpen Your HeartGratitude opens the heart and lets even more good things to enter your life.Being thankful for things big and small opens yourself for more things to enter.Thank Those Who Have Helped YouThank yourself, those who have helped you and Spirit/God/Universe. Thank you's can be verbal, written, or even just a silent acknowledgement. However, when possible, telling the person directly, is a wonderful way to give back. People love to hear that what they did was appreciated.Exercise to Feel GratitudeHere is an exercise to help you feel gratitude in your life:
Speak Positively With The Gratitue AttitudePraising and being thankful opens the door to even more. Complaining closes that same door. Hence, speak positively and lovingly.Appreciate all that went well; accept the lessons learned with grace. Life is wonderful and good.
- List 10 parts of your body that function reliably
- List 10 things that make you happy in your life
- List 10 people who have helped you (however small) in the past
- List 10 people you have helped (however small)
- Look at these lists and be thankful
- Every morning promise yourself to have a gratitude attitude. Everything is a blessing.
- Thoughout the day remind yurself to be thankful. Reminder notes really help.
- Every night go through the day and remind yourself of everything that there is to be thankful for.Step 10: Next Steps inGoal Activation, & ResourcesAnalyze
ReviewWe recommend scheduling a time to overview one's life and verify that it is consistent with where they want to go during set intervals.raditionally, new year's day and/or birthday's are used for this type of review (ie: New Year's Resolutions,) but this can be done more often. I have found every 3 months on the solstice date works really well for me. I make my goals flow with the season and use them as a vehicle for growth.DecideWhen deciding on your next goal, make a list of desired goals and place a priority on each one.When done your current goal, recheck both the goals and the priorities. Both goals and priorities change over time, verify they are both still appropriately weighted on your lists.Know that change is a continuous process. You can change anything and everything you would like to -- step-by-step. The future is yours to create.
- Analyze whether your goal was successful.
- Is it what you wanted?
- Did it achieve what you hoped for?
- Do you want to improve on it?
- Did you acknowledge what did work?
- Are you grateful for the experience?
Sing a word that is special to you for a few minutes. Examples are: God, Buddha, Jesus, Hu, Aum, Love, Happiness.
While you singing this special word feel your heart to expand with love. From this state, look at the various parts of your life to see what needs the most attention. Is it your family, your job, your spiritual focus, finances, health or some other area? What would it feel like if this area was cleansed with light and love?
Bring this feeling back to your awareness when you are done singing. Write down as much as your experience as you can. Picture this as you new goal and work from there.
Step 3: Dreaming and Creating the Life YOU Want
Dreaming gives your goal a life of its own. It is the process of continually picturing your dream and exploring possibilities. Picturing your goal clearly and consistently attracts the goal to you.
Exploring and Refining Your Dream Here is a 3 night technique for exploring and refining your dream:
- During the day think lightly of you goal. Imagine what having your goal would be like. Are you happy? Do you smile when you think of it? Does it feel in harmony with where you want to be? If not, you probably want to rethink your goal.Night 1: Before bed, ask Spirit (or the universe, God, angels, etc...), to show you how life would be fulfilled if you achieved this goal? Change your goal if you wish, and lightly think of it all day. Night 2: Before bed, ask Spirit (or the universe, God, angels, etc...), to show you if there is something better to ask for? Change your goal if you wish, and lightly think of it all day. Night 3: Before bed, ask Spirit (or the universe, God, angels, etc...), to if there is someway to have it be even better?
- Create a poster with your goals. Use both words and pictures. This creates a physical picture that you can look at many times a day to remind you of your goals. Pictures can be drawn, painted and/or cut from magazines.I find that having a physical reminder that I see everyday extremely effective.
Step 4: Effective Goal Planning
Sometimes goals just happen -- but most of the time there is lots of planning and work involved!
By now you have a goal that is the best goal for you at this time and you fine tuned it to make sure it will bring you what you want. Now is the doing stage. Research how others with similar goals made them work, remind yourself daily of your goal, and constantly move towards your goal.
- You can always research on the net. Use a major search engine and search on your criteria. By doing this, you should be able to get some tips on how others made similar goals.
- Mentors are very useful in this process. Ask friends if they know anyone who has completed your goal, and if possible get them to introduce you to them. Joining a club that supports your goals is extremely helpful. Look in your community for mentor groups. All of the world's most successful people had mentors. Often the local library has lots of books and sometimes even classes. Often there are associations for various types of activities. For example, there are many real estate investing associations for people who want to invest in real estate - and Toastmasters for those who want to learn to improve their public speaking skills. Following steps others used to make progress on similar goals really helps. Forming a game plan modeled after one they used can help you avoid the potholes along the way.
- Notes throughout work, car and home, adding reminders to your calendar, making an exercise of repeating your goals verbally and in writing throughout the day really help. Keep the picture of you goal in mind and keep working on it.One great easy reminder method: Carry your goals with you. Write down 3 goals on a 3x5 card and carry them with you. Put it in your wallet or your pocket and refer to it often. Tie a string around your finger or write a note on your hand. For some people, this technique really works. Recording your goals on tape and playing them often works well too. Be certain to always record positive thoughts and goals. Listen to it often. Using premade tapes such as 101 Power Thoughts/101 Ways to Transform Your Life/CD is very simple and easy to use. Remind yourself of your goals and imagine achieving them. Then do one more thing that gets you closer to your goal.
- Create a series of steps for your goals. These steps can be mini-goals. List these mini-goals in order so you have a plan of action.Set a specific time aside EVERY day for doing your goal. Preferably set aside at least one hour every day (unless your goal needs less time such as a goal of exercising 30 minutes every day). Now have FUN following the steps you created. By doing the research and having reminders, your creation is only steps away. Feel the joy and love of creation and go through the steps.
Step 5: Breaking Through LimitationsSo you now have a goal you want so much you can taste it. You are living day-to-day thinking, breathing, and picturing the goal -- but alas, you have hit a road block. The barrier seems insurmountable. What do you do now?
Here are 9 techniques for facing fears and meeting challenges
Step 6: Expectations, Acceptance, and Goal Surrendering
How to expect the best, accept the gifts and surrender the results involved with working on goals.
Sometimes life fills our goals in unexpected ways - or the path is less comfortable than we wished. For example, what can be done when life fulfills a goal to go to Paris but it rains most of the trip. Here are some techniques that help you with these issues.
Ask What Life Is Telling You
Sometimes, unexpected results are just life's nudges for you to learn new skills, adjust beliefs and attitudes, or try a different tact. What can you learn from this experience? What have you gained? Did you meet a person who can help you? Is there a person you can help?
Expect the BestIn the example above, it was raining in Paris. Did the rain encourage you to visit more museums and shops that you would have otherwise? Did you meet more people, start a friendship or learn more by being inside?
Accept the GiftsHaving the expectation of the best of life coming to you brings the best. Life always does this, all you need to expect it.
Law of PlentySometimes a gift doesn't seem like a gift -- but is a blessing larger than ever imaginable. Wait and see. Know there is a gift within every experience just waiting to be explored.
Think PositiveThere is enough in the universe for everyone. Know it is there. Everything is coming to you at the perfect moment.
What good came out of this situation? Count the blessings you DO have. Know that everything has a reason although sometimes it is not apparent at the moment the situation occurs.
Step 7: Achieving Goals YOU Really Want
Working On Your Goals: Using Mini-Goals
Here you keep working on your goals as planned in Step 4. You have the opportunity to take responsibility of following the steps set up in step 4-step 6 and going back and adding more steps as they are discovered.Often one creates mini-goals so one can see progress and for a status check. For each mini-goal on your way to your major goal, you may wish to do all 10 steps as they help the total goal go easier.How does it feel to work on your goal? Is your picture turning out the way you wanted it? Are you delighted in your creation?When you truly are achieving goals that are in harmony, often a lightness and joy fill you with the outcome. You know you created something that you really wanted and if needed, you can do so again.If you are happy with what you are achieving, continue on with working on your goal. If you find that it isn't going to fulfill your dream, feel free to restart the process. Yet, know goals are built on steps.You need to take one step at a time and that often the end result isn't fully visible until you have committed yourself fully and given it your best at all times.
Do Your Best
Here are some tips on how to give your best:
Are You Listening?
If your goal isn't moving along as fast as your desired timeline, follow these steps: